Jimmy Kimmel on Mitch McConnell’s return: ‘They’re juist wheelin him aboot like a statue in a wax museum’

Late-nicht hosts reactit tae the return o Mitch McConnell tae the Senate efter a months-lang absence, an the mountin costs o Donald Trump’s never-endin war wi Iran.

On Fuirsday evenin, Jimmy Kimmel offered a less than braw review for Mitch McConnell’s lang-awaited return tae the Senate this week, followin a prolonged time in hospital. Appearin afore reporters, the 84-year-auld former majoritie leader neither spak nor seemed tae hae muckle idea whit wis happenin; durin a vote this week on the latest farm bill, he wis tauld tae say aye whan he wis cried upon.

This puir man, he seems tae hae nae idea whaur he is or whit he is doin, Kimmel said. I am no even shuir if he kens wha he is at this point. They are juist wheelin him aboot like a statue in a wax museum.

The host syne played a clip o the Kentucky senator appearin mute, frozen an dazed as a reporter speired at him, Onything fun this weekend?

Onything fun this weekend?! Kimmel laucht. An this is ane o the folk we are relyin on tae help navigate AI, which has been constantly in the news this week efter executives frae the tap Silicon Valley companies cried for mair regulation o their ain technology.

Prominent figures sic as OpenAI’s Sam Altman an Anthropic’s Dario Amodei hae been soundin the alarm aboot this technology they hae created, Kimmel explained. It is like whan the dinosaurs took ower Jurassic Park.

Ane Anthropic executive warned there is aboot a 10% chance that AI cud end a human life, but dinna worry, because President Trump has assured us that this threat tae our existence is naething mair than a hoax, Kimmel laucht. He says the robots will no be takin ower the warld, which is exactly whit the president says at the beginnin o the movie whaur the robots take ower the warld.

Accordin tae the Wall Street Journal, senior administration officials hae gathert amaist daily for months tae try an sway Trump tae release mair guidelines on AI safety. They are callin it Operation: Take Away Grandpa’s iPad, Kimmel jokit. Amaist every day they get thegither tae talk aboot AI an develop plans for how tae keep us safe, which they syne bring tae the president, wha syne tells them aboot his uncle wha worked at MIT, eats his lunch an falls asleep, an that is frustratin.

But Kimmel had a proposal: If ye want him tae take the threat o AI seriously, it is real simple – tell him ChatGPT is aboot tae release the Trump-Epstein files. I wad bet 100 dollars he will get Pandora’s stuff richt back in that box.

On The Daily Show, Michael Kosta checked in on the latest wi Trump’s war wi Iran. Whan Trump launchit this war back in Mairch, he promised us it wad take juist a few weeks an that it wad cost us naething, he notit. An that promise gaed juist as perfectly as a his ither promises.

Accordin tae a recent congressional budget office estimate, the war has cost American taxpayers an extra 38 billion dollars, wi gas an diesel prices still on the rise. An the cost is even mair whan ye consider a the militar bases we hae tae repair, a the equipment we hae tae fix, a the Iran war championship T-shirt merch we had tae throw away, Kosta jokit. Sae I am juist a wee bit confused. Donald Trump has assured us mony times that we hae already won the war, sae why are gas prices still goin up?

That wad be, in pairt, due tae new Iranian strikes in the Strait o Hormuz, which has been contestit now for months. How is this still happenin?! Kosta wonnered. We are the United States – we amaist beat the Taliban! I ken we can handle one strait…

Except as o this week, in a dramatic escalation in the war, Iranian-backit Houthis in Yemen threatent tae take control o the Bab al-Mandab strait, anither crucial route for Saudi oil an global trade. Wait, there is a second strait now? This war is like a telenovela, Kosta jokit.

I am startin tae think it is bad that our entire economie is built on extractin oil frae incredibly narrow waterways in the warld’s maist volatile region, he said.